ENT41 Nuggets Gets The Last Word
by A Rhea King
Summary: Long ago, on a planet somewhere else, Trip adopted a pet chicken and named her Nuggets. The fowl has caused ship wide havoc, befriended Porthos, and saved the ship from certain doom ... And in the end, she gets the last word.
1. Prologue

NUGGETS GETS THE LAST WORD

A. Rhea King

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: These are the Nugget stories missing from the Tweens_

**Prologue**

Archer entered Sickbay and stopped inside the door. His eyes were watery and he kept wiping his runny, reddened nose. Red blotches mottled his pallid skin giving him a 'walking dead' appearance despite the fact he was getting better. A yellow cream was dried in small patches on several of the blotches. He was dressed in oversized civilian clothing that hung off him like scarecrow rags. He started scratching his arm and quickly mouthed, '_Stop it, Jonnie_!' He dropped his hand, clenching it into a fist as a physical reminder of the command.

Across Sickbay, Phlox and Trip crowded around the end of the bio-bed so Archer couldn't see who was lying on the bed. Trip was tense and unmoving, refusing to leave the person despite impeding Phlox from working.

"Trip? Phlox?" Archer said.

Phlox looked over his shoulder.

"How is she?" Archer asked.

Phlox shook his head.

Archer walked around Trip, standing on his other side. Lying in a bed of pillows and towels, was a plump, white, Leghorn chicken. Trip had one hand under her head and with his free hand was stroking her from head to tail. His eyes were swollen from dried tears. Phlox held a scanner over her again. He sighed, holding the instrument.

"Commander, we have to put her down," Phlox said.

"Not yet," Trip argued.

"It isn't humane to make her suffer like this." Phlox looked up at Trip. "She's in a great deal of the pain. This illness has gotten too far."

"A little bit longer."

"I just talked to T'Pol. She won't be here for another two hours, Trip," Archer said. "She said she understood if you asked that she be put to sleep before she gets here."

"NOT YET!" Trip bellowed at them. Quietly he asked the chicken, "We're gonna wait for T'Pol, huh, Nuggets?"

The chicken barely opened her eyes. A soft cluck escaped her. Trip smiled, nodding.

"We're waiting. She wants T'Pol here."

Phlox looked up at Archer, opening his mouth to protest. Archer shook his head. He patted Trip's shoulder.

"I'll go let her know to put some speed on, okay?"

Trip nodded.

Archer headed for the door, resisting scratching the blotches. He exited Sickbay and turned the corner at the next hall. Behind him he heard heavy footsteps running after him.

"Captain!" Phlox called

With a heavy sigh, Archer turned to face the Denobulan.

"Captain, we all love that bird, but--"

"Phlox, have you ever had a pet that was just your pet? Not a lab experiment, not something that could help another being with disease, just a pet. Have you ever had one of those?"

"No, and I don't see--"

"Then you can't understand what's going through Trip's head right now. He understands his pet is suffering and won't prolong it any longer than need be. He'll let you put the chicken down when T'Pol gets here."

"Captain, you have to order--"

Archer laid a hand on Phlox's shoulder, giving it a squeeze, silencing him. His smile was sad, but patient.

"This is beyond my authority as a Captain, or a friend. When he gives you the okay, then you can put her to sleep. I'm not ordering him to do anything. Okay?"

Phlox's face reflected his disapproval, but he nodded.

Archer walked away.


	2. Before Nuggets

**Chapter 1 : Before Nuggets**

* * *

Archer entered the shuttle bay as he reached the side hatch as Malcolm shoved it open. He wore an expression that closely resembled anger as he tried to rush past Archer. Archer grabbed his arm and he whirled around to face Archer. Archer half expected a fist to follow, but Malcolm simply stared at him with that angry expression.

"Trip sounded upset. What happ--" Archer started.

Malcolm cut Archer off. "You handpicked him, sir. _You_," A small laugh escaped. "You handpicked Commander Tucker and now you can figure out what to do with it! Because short of a nice Sunday dinner, I don't know what he's going to do with the...the..." Malcolm started laughing. He fell back against the wall, clutching his stomach, as his laughter grew louder. "The chicken! Your Chief Engineer rescued a chicken!"

Archer heard clucking and turned. Hoshi and Ensign Cutler stood behind Trip, who held a crude wire cage with a large white Leghorn hen in it. The women were tearing from the laughter they were trying to hold in. Trip was slightly red – was he embarrassed or angry?

"Commander Tucker rescued the..." Hoshi paused when a laugh escaped. "The chicken, sir, from uncertain death. It was the only living thing in the village and he saved it."

Trip protested, "It was going to starve to death!"

Trip's accent was very thick and distinct, an indication he was tired, frustrated, and very angry. Experience had taught Archer that when Trip was at this emotion place, it didn't take much to make him explode. So, Archer cleared his throat, and decided he'd try to defuse the situation before Trip blew up at one or all of them. Archer brought his hand up, tapping a finger to his lips as he thought of a comment while trying to repress his laughter. After all, Trip was trying to do the decent thing.

"Trip..." Archer looked from Trip to the white-feathered bird and back. "You know... We set out to explore space, see the unknown, experience new cultures... What is, uhm... It's just that... We've all seen a chicken before." Archer clenched his teeth together to keep from laughing.

"Nuggets would have starved to death if I'd left her in her cage. Whoever lived on that planet, left in a big hurry and this poor, starving chicken was all that was left. I didn't want to leave it there to starve to death. That'd be cruel!"

"And you've named it too, I see."

"Yes! Couldn't keep calling her chicken, could I?"

Archer clenched his teeth together until he was sure he had control of his laughter. "Uhm, I thought you grew up in the city, Trip."

"I did. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Do you know anything about chickens? How to care for and raise them?"

"We have all that in the database. It can't be any different than a cat or dog!"

"So you're going to keep the chicken as a pet, I presume? Since you've named it."

"If not, I could go for a fresh, roasted chicken dinner, myself," Malcolm said before bursting into another frenzy of howling laughter.

Cutler and Hoshi chimed in this time. Trip's jaw twitched, which only made it harder for Archer to maintain his calm. He started tearing from holding the laughter in.

"You wanted me to leave the poor thing to starve to death, Cap'n?" Trip retorted.

"You could have just let it loose!" Archer hooted.

"She's a domesticated animal! She would have died or been killed!"

"Uhm, Commander Tucker," Hoshi began, "as Elizabeth and I have pointed out _numerous_ times already, it was probably going to have been killed anyway by whoever owned it."

Trip's face flushed a darker red. Archer knew he would go off at any moment, but he couldn't stop laughing.

"I wasn't going to leave Nuggets to starve to death or be killed by the wildlife," he said in too-calm-of-a-voice.

The other three started laughing harder. Archer's sides began hurting from how hard he was laughing. Trip's jaw set. He walked up to Archer and shoved the cage in his arms.

"I saved Nuggets from starving to death and I've had about enough of being laughed at!" Trip looked at Malcolm, Ensign Cutler and Hoshi. "And if you three ever tell anyone I saved a chicken I'll...I'll...I'll do something!" Trip stormed out of the shuttle bay.

Archer looked at the chicken, laughing in howls. He sat the cage down before his legs gave out from laughing so hard.


	3. After Nuggets

**Chapter 2 : After Nuggets**

* * *

Hoshi leaned against the console wall in the middle of Sickbay, masking her humor behind a seriousness face.

Doctor Phlox picked up the white bird, looking it in the eye.

"It's a chicken," Doctor Phlox stated. The statement was flat, void of the curiosity he actually held for the white-feathered Leghorn chicken in his hands. Doctor Phlox looked back at Ensign Sato. "And why did you bring me a chicken?" Doctor Phlox looked back at the bird.

"We thought you'd like to add it to your collection?" Hoshi suggested.

"I have no use for a...chicken."

"We could always use it to make chicken nuggets," Ensign Cutler said. Cutler was leaning against a biobed on the other side of Doctor Phlox.

"We could!" Hoshi agreed.

"You would have to kill the chicken first. Are either of you prepared to do that?" Doctor Phlox asked.

"If you don't want it, we really don't have anywhere to put it and we already left orbit. So...I guess we'll have to." Ensign Cutler looked at Hoshi. A smile followed her wink.

Hoshi smiled.

"We could get Chef to fry them up. I like mine with honey," Hoshi said.

"I'm partial to barbeque sauce," Ensign Cutler said.

Doctor Phlox tucked the bird under his arm. "I suppose I can add it to my collection."

"Are you sure? I mean...it is only a chicken. They're really aren't good for much more than eggs and eating," Hoshi said.

"I'll make the chicken at home. Now if you ladies don't mind, I have work to do."

Ensigns Cutler and Sato headed for the door together.

"What do chicken eat, Ensign Cutler?" Doctor Phlox asked them.

The two turned. He was holding the chicken up, looking it in the eye again.

"Grains. Corn, barely," Ensign Cutler answered.

"I'll find an adequate substitute. Come Nuggets, let's find you a home."

The woman turned and left the Sickbay with a faster pace. Two halls away the two finally dared to speak.

"Should we have told him this was Trip's idea?" Cutler asked Hoshi.

"Commander Tucker threatened us if we ever told anyone he saved a chicken, remember?"

"Should have had him see if he could find a goat or a sheep or something," Cutler commented. "We could have named it McDonald."

Hoshi giggled. "Instead of Ol' McDonalds farm, we have Old Doctor Phlox's menagerie!"

Hoshi and Cutler both laughed.


	4. Nuggets Returns

**Chapter 3 : Nuggets Returns**

* * *

Doctor Phlox heard a noise as he entered Sickbay. A white streak dashed between his legs and out the closing doors. He spun, catching sight of Nuggets disappearing around the corner.

"STOP!" Phlox yelled, running after the chicken.

#

Nuggets raced around a corner and came to a halt.

Archer and a crewman were discussing something. At Archer's feet, Porthos had laid down to take a nap. But the scent and soft rustle of Nuggets' feathers roused him from his cheese and bone filled dreams. His eyes popped open, and then his head slowly drifted up with his body following just as slowly. He kept his head low, staying eye to eye with the chicken. It was prey and it was about to become caught.

"Uh...sir..." The crewman pointed at Nuggets.

Archer turned in time to see Porthos skid out, get traction and head straight for Nuggets. Nuggets let out a surprised squawk and ran from the dog.

"LEAVE IT! PORTHOS, LEAVE IT!" Archer yelled.

Porthos began baying as he pursued the bird, ignoring his master's sharp order. The two sped down halls, making crewmen dodge, stumble and fall to get out of their way.

Nuggets raced through an opening door into engineering with Porthos was right behind, snapping at her tail feathers. Trip looked up from a PADD he was reading and let out a surprised yelp as the two animals barreled into him. He tripped and stumbled over them, lost his balance and fell on them. Nuggets squawked. Porthos let out a surprised yelped, but their pursuit didn't stop. They struggled free from Trip and the chase resumed.

The two raced laps around the warp drive, expertly dodging and ducking hands trying to catch them. A door began to open and Nuggets ran for it. Malcolm leapt to the side, watching both dog and chicken race past. They ran past more crewmen, Nuggets searching for some form of escape. She turned into a hall and ahead the lift door began opening.

Hoshi stepped off the lift as dog and bird ran into her, tripping her and making her fall back into the lift. The lift began descending. The two animals quickly untangled from her and began making laps around the inside of lift and over Hoshi. Hoshi got to her feet and grabbed for Nuggets, and caught her in the first attempt. Porthos danced around her legs, snapping and snarling at the chicken. Nuggets continued squawking, flapping her wings in Hoshi's face.

"NUGGETS!" Hoshi yelled.

By luck or experience, Nuggets got a leg over Hoshi's arm and raked her talons down her forearm, drawing blood. Hoshi yelled, dropping her. The lift opened and the door slid open. Hoshi made a lunge for Porthos, instead crashing into a crewman about to step onto the lift. The two fell in a tangle of arms and legs, allowing the two creatures to escape and continue their chase.

There were more crewmen here, but the two animals managed to elude their would be capturers and each other.

A door slid open and Nuggets bolted through it into the mess hall. The mess hall erupted in screeches, yells and laughter. Everyone tried to catch the two animals as they made laps around the room.

T'Pol was sitting alone in the center of the room reading a PADD and sipping from a mug. She looked up, watching the commotion, but did nothing else.

Nuggets leapt up and got enough lift to get onto the breakfast buffet table. Porthos leapt onto a chair and across the expanse onto the table. They raced down the buffet table, knocking over dishes and scattering food in all directions. Nuggets reached the end of the table and jumped. Porthos put all his strength into his hind legs and lunged into his leap, landing on Nuggets' back. The two crashed to the floor in a fight filled with fur, feathers, baying, yipping and squawking.

Porthos yelped when a pair of hands roughly grabbed him, pulling him away from Nuggets, who was being pulled away by another pair of hands. That didn't stop Nuggets from squawking and trying to run, or Porthos from baying, snarling and trying to pursue. And then the two were taken to opposite ends of the mess hall to await their fate.

Archer, Trip and Doctor Phlox ran into the mess hall and stopped, staring at the disaster left in the animal's wake. Archer spun to face the Denobulan and Chief Engineer

"I am going to shoot that GOD DAMNED CHICKEN _OUT OF A DAMN TORPEDO TUBE_!" Archer screamed. "_HOW THE HELL'D IT GET LOOSE_?"

"Apparently the fowl has a limited amount of luck. She pulled the pin out of the latch and escaped," Doctor Phlox answered.

"I WANT THAT CHICKEN OFF THIS SHIP! THIS IS _NOT_ A FLYING ZOO!" Archer walked over to the crewman that had Porthos, snatching his dog away. "And as for you, mister, you'll be lucky if you ever get off a _leash_!"

Archer stormed past Trip and Doctor Phlox, shooting both an angry glare. Trip sighed, looking at Doctor Phlox. Doctor Phlox walked over to the crewman holding Nuggets and took the hen and the two left to figure out the demise of the bird.

With the excitement over, the crew began cleaning up the mess hall. T'Pol turned back to her PADD but soon her attention was distracted as the crew began voicing their disapproval of Archer's decision. T'Pol slowly looked up from her PADD.

"He doesn't have a right to get rid of Nuggets. Porthos was part of this too!"

"If Trip has to get rid of Nuggets, Captain Archer should get rid of Porthos."

"Yeah, but that'll never happen. He's never liked her since she was brought on board, you know that."

"We should complain. She's the ship's mascot! We all feel like she's our pet."

"Maybe we could hide her from him."

"Where?"

No one answered.

"I guess... This is so unfair! Chickens can be too smart for their own good!"

"We could protest."

"A ship wide mutiny?"

"Whatever it takes to keep Nuggets on board."

"I doubt he'd notice," someone hissed. "That's not part of his job!"

T'Pol stood and left the mess hall.

#

Archer worked on duty schedules, but neither the tedious work nor the soothing music he had playing did much to calm his anger from the morning chaos. In a corner behind him, Porthos lay on his bed, watching his master. The doorbell beeped and Porthos jumped up.

"DOWN STAY!" Archer snarled at Porthos.

Porthos promptly laid down and didn't move.

"Come in," Archer called out.

T'Pol walked in carrying a PADD that she handed to Archer. He took it and skimmed the contents.

"That's fine. Send it to Starfleet." Archer handed it back.

T'Pol tapped the screen a couple of times. "Captain, there is something else I'd like you to review."

Archer held his hand up for the PADD and she placed it back in his hand. Archer skimmed it and started to hand it back to her. He took a second look, staring at the information on the screen. He looked curiously up at T'Pol.

"This is a...uhm...good design, T'Pol. What, _exactly_, do you need a cage for?"

"To properly contain Commander Tucker's pet fowl."

At first Archer was surprised by the answer, but his anger promptly replaced it.

"Damn him!" Archer reached for the companel. "How could you let him talk you into this, T'Pol? You feel that bird doesn't belong on this ship as much as I do!"

T'Pol covered the controls, stopping Archer.

"Commander Tucker did not convince me to do this, Captain."

Archer was stunned. "He didn't? Who did?"

"No one, Captain. And this cage design would be impossible for the chicken to escape from unless she had thumbs and an extreme amount of 'luck,' as Doctor Phlox put it."

Archer's eyes narrow with his suspicion. "Why are you helping Trip keep this chicken? I don't know how many times you've told Trip his compassion for that bird is pointless since she can't even reciprocate it like Porthos does, which I agree."

"Today I came to the realization that many of the crewmen are fond of Commander Tucker's pet fowl. They were very disgruntled about your decision to remove the chicken from the ship and their complaints about it have continued throughout the day."

"Disgruntled?"

"Extremely. Not to mention I fear Doctor Phlox may suffer from mild depression if you take his favorite creature away."

"Mild depression over the loss of a _chicken_?"

"For one, chickens do not exist on Denobula. He is quite intrigued by the fowl. Additionally, crewmen regularly visit Sickbay to give attention to the fowl. Doctor Phlox has mentioned to me on several occasions how much he enjoys the visits as crewmen also engage in 'idle chat' while visiting. With Commander Tucker's help, this cage could be finished by the end of the day, sir."

Archer sat the PADD down, staring at the design on it.

"Fine. But if that bird gets out of this cage, I will personally kill it and fry it. You tell Trip that." Archer looked back at T'Pol. "Understood?"

"I thought you didn't believe in hunting or killing animals, Captain?"

"Chickens are the exception. Understood? Yes or no?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Go tell those two I've approved this and I don't want to hear another word about that damned chicken."

"Thank you, Captain." T'Pol picked up the PADD and left the room.

Archer waited until he was sure she was gone and grinned. He looked down at Porthos.

"Almost sounds like she likes that chicken as much as the rest of the crew, Port. What do you think about that?"

Porthos jumped and trotted over to Archer. He picked him up and sat him on his lap, and then returned to the schedules.


	5. Nuggets to the Rescue

**Chapter 4 : Nuggets To The Rescue**

* * *

_Enterprise_ rocked when a phase cannon blast hit it. Nuggets let out a squawk, protesting to the distress that the battle was causing in her simple life. Doctor Phlox looked up from the injured crewman he was tending to.

"You are fine, Nuggets!" Phlox informed her as he moved to another injured crewman.

"We've been boarded!" someone yelled as they ran into the Sickbay.

Doctor Phlox looked back, finding Trip and another crewman standing inside the Sickbay doors. They were both shooting down the hall in an attempt to keep the aliens from infiltrating Sickbay.

_Enterprise_ banked to port and another phase cannon hit caused the lights to momentarily cut out. The darkness was filled with the sound of things crashing and breaking. Nuggets squawked even louder in protest from the back of the Sickbay. The lights flickered back on, finding Trip and the armed crew that followed him taking cover behind counters and walls, prepared to defend Sickbay at all costs.

Alien intruders stormed through the Sickbay doors as Nuggets raced out of the back past Trip. Trip made a lunge for her, risking getting shot to save his pet. He missed, landing on the floor instead and scuttled back to his position, raising his phase pistol.

Nuggets stopped when she found her escape route blocked by strangers. In defense to creatures that looked menacing and were not her regular caretakers, she ruffled her feathers and began pacing back and forth. She squawked loudly at the intruders invading her domain, challenging them to a fight with her head and body movements.

The alien advance came to an abrupt halt and they dropped their weapons. They stared bug-eyed at the chicken as they repeating what sounded like a prayer and drew a symbol in the air over and over.

"What the..." Trip started.

Nuggets made a dash for the door. Trip dropped his phase pistol and lunged, grabbing her before she could escape. He got to his feet, holding her in front of him. She squawked, flapped her wings feverishly and tried to claw his hands.

The aliens quickly shrank back, turning their faces away from the bird. They began praying louder and making the air symbol even faster.

Trip advanced on the aliens into the hall outside of Sickbay. Four more aliens ran around the corner and came to a halt at the sight of Nuggets. They too looked away and began praying and making the air symbol.

Doctor Phlox and crewmen gathered in the Sickbay doors, astounded by the sight. They were completely oblivious to Phlox's creatures flying, creeping, crawling and walking around them.

"Be gone!" Trip commanded. "Or I'll release the...chicken...on you!" Trip thrust Nuggets into the air. She squawked unhappily at Trip, struggling to get free from him.

The aliens fled down the hall, screaming as if the devil himself were chasing them.

Trip stared in dumbfound awe, hardly aware that _Enterprise_ was still being rocked by the attack. A violent hit threw Trip against the wall, shaking him out of his shock.

"I'll be damned..." Trip whispered. "Nuggets, you may just save our lives today!"

Trip tucked Nuggets under his arm and ran down the hall, ignoring her squawking protest.

#

"We have a hull breech on deck E, section twenty-one." Malcolm reported. "Airlocks are in place, no casualties reported."

"Shoot them out of the sky, Malcolm!" Archer barked. "HOSHI, LOCATE TRIP NOW! WE HAVE TO GO TO WARP!"

"I'm trying, sir!" Malcolm bit back.

"Com systems and internal sensors are down all over the ship," Hoshi reported.

"We cannot withstand many more direct hits, Captain," T'Pol said.

"I'm open to suggestions, T'Pol."

The lift opened and Trip ran off, headed for the front of the bridge. "Hoshi, hail them," Trip ordered. "Get them on screen. Get the translator online. Hurry!"

"Sir?" Hoshi looked at Archer.

"Trip--" Archer started.

"HOSHI NOW!" Trip yelled at Hoshi.

Hoshi obeyed Trip. "They aren't responding, sir."

"Tell 'em their pissing their deity off!"

Hoshi hesitated, staring at Trip.

"HOSHI!"

"Aye, sir."

The alien bridge appeared on the view screen with an alien sitting prominently in the center. Trip immediately brandished Nuggets up in the air, ignoring her protesting squaws.

Drawing from every comic book, book, movie and television series he'd ever read or saw, Trip threw together the most threatening, impromptu, threat he could think of.

In a deep, steady and sinister voice he informed the aliens, "You have angered your deity by invading the vessel carrying her most sacred of inner sanctions and destroying her most sacred priests and priestesses. For this she will release the Super Sailor Phlox Menagerie. Your deaths will not take you to the great hall of the Alysians, but into the fiery depths of the River Styx! Prepare to meet your _doom_!"

"CEASE FIRE!" the alien ordered. "_QUICKLY_!" Firing ceased instantly. The alien stood, falling to his knees and pleading, "I beg of you, Yilopa, forgive us! We did not know--"

"Your pleading saves you only from an immediate doom. Yilopa curses you and your next five generations for your insolence. You shall all find destitution and die branded with the letter A, a reminder for your imprudent arrogance!"

Somewhere off screen they heard someone gasp 'my baby!' Several of the alien crewmen started crying, looking helplessly to their captain. The alien captain bowed over and his crew mimicked him.

Muffled, but still clear they heard him say, "We did not know this vessel carries your host and we beg mercy for our insolence, your eminence Yilopa. Please only bear your curse on us and spare our children and our children's children from your punishment. We will bear the mark of our arrogance in their place, great goddess!"

Trip lowered her to his arm, lifting his chin. He informed the aliens, "Your pleas have been heard, but Yilopa is still enraged. She orders the untrue you have placed into her inner sanctum to be removed immediately. Return the priests and priestess you dared to steal from her or she will release the deadly Trots to kill every living thing aboard your ship."

"Immediately, Yilopa. Quickly, do as she orders crewman."

A crewman rushed to a control to obey.

"All intruders have been transported off," T'Pol informed the bridge. "And our... The priests and priestesses have been returned as your santurary ... Chief Priest."

Archer looked at her with a furrowed brow. She gave a slight shrug.

"Yilopa will be merciful, but she commands that you leave immediately and never again fire on the vessels that transport her again. Inform your spiritual leaders that if any of your impure invade her inner sanctuary again, she will send forth the worst of her wraiths, her gremlins, and her werewolves, to devour every first born of every family."

"We hear and obey immediately, Your Eminence. Thank you for your gracious mercy. Thank you! Crew, obey!"

The crew quickly took their stations, the view screen changed back to an external view of the alien ship and it leapt to warp, leaving _Enterprise_ alone. Archer and his crew were silent for several minutes, stunned by the strange twist of events. Trip crooning to his pet chicken was the only sound for several minutes.

"Nugget's royal vessel, Trip?" Archer asked.

As if on queue, the others followed up with their own jabs.

"Could you identify which of my controls releases the Super Sailor Phlox Menagerie, Trip?" Malcolm jabbed. "I fear we may be in the wrong comic book."

"You will live in destitute and be branded with an A?" Hoshi asked. "Oh, yeah. I'd be afraid for my life with that threat!"

"So which movies and books did you steal all that from, Commander?" Travis asked.

Trip's shoulders sagged. He turned around to face the crew. "I was improvising, okay? I didn't have time to write something more threatening or come up with a proper dooms day device name! And I had to scare the living daylights out of them so I just used as many references as I could think of."

"Trip...they left because you had a chicken." Archer moved to the edge of the captain's chair, clasping his hands together. "And I, for one, am _dying_ to know how you knew that would make them leave."

Trip grinned. "Down in Sickbay we took a real bad hit and it must have knocked Nugget's cage door open or something. She came running around the corner and these two aliens simply quit firing. So I snatched her up and started walking toward them with her. They start backing up, recitin' some prayer, I think, and doing this thing that looked like Hail Mary's. And these four other aliens showed up and started doing the same thing. I told them to be gone and they took off running down the hall like a ghost was after them. It was the funniest damn thing I have ever seen in my life! All because of Nuggets!" Trip held up Nuggets.

Nuggets squawked loudly.

"Oh. Sorry your Eminence," Trip said to the chicken.

He tucked her under her arm and stroked back her feathers. She began clucking more quietly now that she was in familiar arms and her world was back to its calm state.

Shocked by the bizarre twist of events, Archer could only sink back in his chair, staring at the chicken Trip was holding.

"Can I just say, for the record, that of all the really weird things in our universe this is by far the most...most..." Hoshi looked at Trip and Nuggets and then back at Archer. "WACKED! They worship _chickens_!"

Nuggets squawked in general protest.

Archer smiled, laughing. "Yeah, well, our chicken just saved our lives. Trip, return her goddess Nuggets to her home and start on repairs."

"Come Yilopa's host," Trip laughed as he walked back to the lift.

Archer sighed. "Get both canons back on line, Malcolm."

"Aye, sir." Malcolm walked around to the lift. He stopped behind Archer's chair asking, "We really were just saved by a chicken?"

"'Fraid so, Lieutenant."

"I have to agree with Ensign Sato, sir. Our universe certainly does have some daftness to it."

Archer nodded. "Agreed, Malcolm."

Malcolm stepped onto the lift when the door opened, muttering something under his breath that sounded very close to swearing. Archer smiled, deciding it was probably best not to have him repeat it.

#

Archer hesitated outside of Sickbay, staring at the doors. With a sigh he walked into the room. Even though he'd just left the mess hall and had seen Phlox there, he half expected him to appear. Archer walked to the back of the room to where Nuggets and several other animals lived. Archer walked up to the cage, staring at the chicken.

She was sitting on a roost pole sleeping. She looked up when his shadow fell across her, quietly clucking at him. Archer reached out and opened the door. He reached in and picked her up. She didn't fight, only continued to quietly cluck. Archer cuddled her to his chest and stroked her head and neck.

"You're something, chicken, know that? I never, in my life, thought a chicken would save me, let alone my ship and crew."

Nuggets closed her eyes, going back to sleep. Archer smiled.

"I guess you've earned your keep, stupid bird. What's a ship without a mascot, huh? Porthos might take it a little hard, though."

Archer put her back in her cage and latched the door. He turned, running into T'Pol. He glanced at the container she was holding.

"Captain," T'Pol said.

Archer forced a wide smile to hide his nervousness of being caught talking to Nuggets.

"I was looking for Doctor Phlox," Archer told her.

"He is in the mess hall or his quarters, I believe."

"Oh. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Neither of them moved. Archer glanced at the container again.

"What are you doing here?" Archer asked.

"Commander Tucker has a great deal of work to attend to since the attack. I offered to feed Nuggets for him."

Archer's smile turned sly. "So you've gone from pet fowl to Nuggets, I see."

"Just as you have gone from wishing death on her to accepting her as part of the crew, I just saw."

Archer grinned, nodding. "Touché. Guess we should let this one go, shouldn't we?"

"Indeed."

"Good night, T'Pol."

"Good night, Captain."

Archer walked around T'Pol. She turned half a step, watching him leave. She turned back when the door shut. T'Pol walked up to the cage and opened the door. Nuggets woke and started clucking happily at the sight of her. She jumped off her roost and walked to the opening. T'Pol picked her up and sat her on top of the cage. Nuggets leaned over the edge, watching the container. T'Pol opened it to reveal four large, ripe strawberries. She tore off a piece and held it up for Nuggets. The chicken pecked at it, slowly devouring it. T'Pol glanced down at her food dish, full with a grain mix. Nuggets finished and she tore off another piece, holding it up for the bird to eat.

"You deserve this treat more than usual tonight, Nuggets," T'Pol quietly told Nuggets.

Nuggets didn't care. She just wanted her nightly piece of fruit that only this two-legged creature brought her every night.


	6. Will You Be My Friend?

**Chapter 5 : Will You Be My Friend?**

* * *

"PORTHOS!" Archer yelled, startling two crewmen working.

The two turned, watching him walk around the corner.

"Have you seen Porthos?" Archer asked them.

"No, sir," both answered.

"If you do, will you hold him captive and call me?" Archer asked them.

"Sure, sir," one answered.

Archer continued his search and calling. He stopped in a hall, looking both directions. "I only have four more decks and a several hundred meters to search...not including access tunnels and shuttle pods," Archer growled to himself. "You'd better be in a lot of trouble when I find you dog."

"Doctor Phlox to Archer," Doctor Phlox called over the ship COM.

Archer walked over to a companel and pressed the talk button.

"Archer here," he said.

"I was told you were looking for a certain four-legged canine."

"Yes. Do you have him?"

"In a matter of speaking. You should probably come to Sickbay with a camera."

Archer smiled. "On my way."

He headed for engineering to ask Trip for his camera.

#

Archer walked into Sickbay watching Doctor Phlox motion him to be quiet. Doctor Phlox led him around a console and pointed. Porthos was lying on the counter next to Nugget's cage, curled up and lightly snoring. Nuggets was lying down inside the cage next to Porthos, her beak tucked under her wing while she slept.

"I discovered them when I returned from lunch," Doctor Phlox whispered.

Archer opened Trip's camera and took a picture, the flash waking both animals. Porthos yawned, looking up at him. Nuggets clucked quietly, watching the scene and occasionally cocking her head to the side to take in a better view of things.

"How'd he get up there?"

"Resourcefulness, I'd assume," Doctor Phlox pointed to two crates stacked on top of the other, "and a large leap."

Archer laughed. Porthos yawned again and tucked his head back under his leg. Nuggets reached between the wires and plucked at Porthos' shoulder. Porthos' tail flopped once. She plucked his shoulder again and he looked at her, emitting a short, low growl. Nuggets made a low sound and returned to her slumber. Porthos tucked his head back under his leg and went back to sleep.

"That stupid chicken is determined to find ways to make me let her stay," Archer said.

"I would agree. If you were to fry her as you've threatened, your canine companion might become very distraught." Doctor Phlox turned and walked away.

Archer walked over to the counter, petting Porthos. Nuggets reached through the wire and plucked at Archer's sleeve. Archer smiled a little. He reached a finger through the wire and she gently plucked at it, letting Archer stroke her with his other fingers.

"Never thought I'd like a chicken, _bird_. Consider yourself lucky Trip found you and not me," Archer told her. "Come on Port."

Archer turned and started toward the door. Porthos stood up, stretched and shook. Archer turned, watching Nuggets gently pluck at Porthos' nose when the Beagle put it next to the cage. Porthos licked her head through the wire and then jumped down and followed Archer out of Sickbay.


	7. Return of the Disastrous Duo

**Chapter 6 : Return of the Disastrous Duo**

* * *

Archer let out a sigh, holding the end of the metal bar up over his head. "Trip. I have to go."

From somewhere on the other side of the wall, Trip told him, "I almost have this. Did I say thanks?"

"Twenty times. At least. Maybe more."

"Thanks for helping me."

"Gotta quit scaring off your crew, Trip."

Trip chuckled. "Me? Look who's talkin!"

"I don't scare 'em..._much_."

"Almost got it."

"You've said that at least a hundred times. This is not a captain's job. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. But what else were you doing today?"

"Oh, let's see, there's the--"

"SON OF A BI--"

"Trip?"

"LET IT GO, CAP'N!"

Archer obeyed, watching the bar fall to the floor and start dancing with electricity. Archer backed away, watching it at a safe distance.

"You okay?" Archer asked

"It was just a few gigawatts there. That's all."

"Trip, are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Stupid son of a...I hate this ship today!"

Archer chuckled, keeping it quiet.

"And you just stop laughing."

"I'm not laughing!"

"Right."

"I'm not. Really." Archer forced himself to suppress his laughter.

"Sickbay to Captain Archer," Likos called over the ship COM.

"Don't use the one near here," Trip said, "or you might get a frizz hairdo."

Archer walked away, smiling. He walked into the next hall and stopped at the companel.

"Archer here."

"We need you in Sickbay in a hurry."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Just hurry, please"

"Why?"

There was no response. Archer set off at a jog; thankful he was on the same deck as Sickbay. He ran into Sickbay and was attacked by two bats. Archer ducked, backing away as he swatted at them.

"SHUT THE DOORS!" he heard Doctor Phlox yell at him, "AND LOCK THEM, CAPTAIN!"

Archer turned, slammed his hand on the door control and locked them. The two bats continued to attack him, their tiny claws racking across any exposed flesh.

"PHLOX!" Archer bellowed, "GET YOUR BATS!"

"He's busy. NO NUGGETS!" Archer heard Likos say.

"What in the hell is going on!?"

Likos appeared suddenly, quickly capturing the bats in his hands. He looked at Archer. "We came back from lunch to this. Your dog is not so innocent and Nuggets are probably lucky they are not human or Jit or they'd both be locked up in the brig when this was over! Can you please catch your dog?"

"Where is he?"

"I dunno."

Archer looked across Sickbay. Insects and other creatures from Doctor Phlox's menagerie were flying, crawling, creeping, running, walking, snapping, snarling, and slithering around Sickbay. Archer spotted Nuggets chasing something that looked like a grasshopper. He ran after her and managed to scoop her up before the insect became her next meal. Archer heard Porthos bark and turned, seeing the Beagle race past him.

"PORTHOS!" Archer yelled.

Archer ran after his dog but lost him.

"Nuggets, you damn chicken, what did you con my dog into?" Archer asked her.

Nuggets squirmed and started squawking. Archer turned, finding Porthos standing behind him. Porthos started barking at Archer with his tail wagging happidly.

"You, _mister_, are in a heap a trouble."

Porthos let out a yelp when a bug bit him on the hindquarters. Archer reached down and swooped the dog up under his other arm. He stayed where he was, watching Likos and Doctor Phlox quickly collect the remaining creatures and put them in their cages and containers. The two stopped to catch their breath, turning angry glares on the chicken and dog. Porthos started wagging his tail when Doctor Phlox started toward them. Nuggets began squawking and struggling against Archer's hold.

Doctor Phlox grabbed Nuggets from Archer and marched her over to her cage. He roughly deposited the chicken in her cage and slammed the door shut, locking it. He turned and walked back to Archer, pulling Porthos from Archer's hold and lifting him up so they were face to face. Porthos' tail began wagging harder. Phlox made a low growling noise that made even Archer feel intimidated. Porthos' immediately tucked his tail between his legs and began squirming to get free. Phlox handed the dog back to Archer and walked away without saying a word.

"I think you pissed off Uncle Phlox, Port," Archer told his dog as they left Sickbay. "You might want to skirt him for a few days, pooch."

Archer ran into Trip on the way into Sickbay. He stepped aside, noticing the goose egg on Trip's forehead.

"What happened to you?"

"I really hate this ship today," Trip answered, disappearing inside.

Archer smiled. He sat Porthos down on the floor and set off at a stroll with his hands in his pockets. Today the chaos gave him an unusual sense of home.


	8. NonNegotiable

**Chapter 7 : Non-Negotiable**

* * *

Trip hummed a song as he worked, his mind following straying paths of thought. Occasionally lyrics slipped out as he remembered them, echoing in the empty catwalk. Trip looked into the open access panel and then down at the scanner in his hand. The communicator by his leg beeped and he swept it up with a wrench, flicked it open and held it up.

"Trip here."

"Trip, you need to report to Sickbay," Phlox said in a hushed voice.

"What's wrong?"

"Commander, you need to get down here IMMEDIATELY! Oh, hello," Phlox said to someone else and then the transmission cut out.

Trip looked at the communicator. Trip sat the wrench down and got up, heading to Sickbay.

#

Trip walked into Sickbay, staring at the aliens talking to Archer and T'Pol. T'Pol stood somber at Archer's side. Archer was listening to the alien, apparently having a communicator that could translate their language. He looked up when he saw Trip.

"Trip, meet the Vaytu."

Trip smiled politely, nodding his head slightly. "Hello."

"They want to buy Nuggets."

Trip looked at Archer and then T'Pol. T'Pol said nothing.

"No."

"Trip, she--"

"I said no."

"Trip, hear me out."

Trip crossed his arms, pursing his lips angrily.

"These aliens, like the others, worship chickens. However, they haven't seen one in centuries. She would be honored and well-cared for."

"No."

"Trip, you're being stubborn."

"She's my chicken, I said no. She stays."

"They are offering a great deal in exchange," T'Pol told Trip.

"I don't care if they offered us an engine that could go warp ten, I'm not trading Nuggets. Would you trade Porthos?"

"That's different. He's my pet."

"And what the hell do you think Nuggets is to me?"

"She's just sitting in here getting fat, Trip."

"No."

"Trip--"

"N. O."

"Do I have to order you?"

"Not if you wanna stay friends, sir."

"She is a menace!"

"She hasn't been a menace since Brila built her new cage."

"She's a chicken!"

"She's my chicken."

Archer started to argue but suddenly started laughing. Trip's brow furrowed.

"What?"

"I can't believe we're arguing about a chicken."

"You're arguing. I'm standing my ground."

"Commander Tucker does have a point, Captain," T'Pol said.

"T'Pol, unless you can pick a side, stay out of this," Archer told her.

T'Pol said nothing.

"Trip, she would have as good or better of a home with them."

"She's my chicken. I rescued her, more than once, and she's saved our skins. She likes me. I can pet her and she gets happy when she sees me, which is every night before I head to bed. She and Porthos are our ship mascots. Without her we're just another starship flying around."

Archer's eyebrows lifted. "Just...another..."

"Just another starship flying around."

"Right. Who can argue with that?" Archer turned to the Vaytu. "I'm sorry. She's not for sale."

"Will that be all, sir?" Trip asked.

"Yes."

Trip walked around to the back of Sickbay. He unlocked Nugget's door and gently lifted her out. Trip tucked her under his arm and walked toward the doors.

"Trip...what are you doing?"

"Takin' my chicken for a walk," Trip glanced at Archer, adding, "For her own safety."

Archer chuckled, shaking his head.


	9. Fare Thee Well

**Chapter 8 : Fare Thee Well**

* * *

Trip crawled under the warp drive and laid down on his back. He pulled tools from pockets and started working. His mind wandered as he hummed a song he'd been listening to before he had breakfast.

"Trip," he heard Archer call.

"Under here," Trip answered.

The person didn't speak for a moment.

"What'cha need?" Trip asked.

"Trip, I have to talk to you. I need you to come out here."

Trip lowered his hands. He recognized the voice as Archer's now and he'd heard that tone before, but he couldn't quite place it. It wasn't anger – he knew _that_ tone all too well.

"Just a sec. I have to put this cover back on."

"No. Leave it. I'm sending Billy in to finish it. He says he knows what you're doing."

"Cap'n, I--"

"Trip, it's about Nuggets."

Trip hurried out from under the engine. He stood up, seeing Archer standing a few feet away. Archer's skin was splotchy and his eyes were puffed up. He had come back to _Enterprise_ a week earlier and barely conscious with an illness that left Archer in a fevered delirium for nearly a week. He had been released to restricted duty yesterday, but Trip thought he should have been in Sickbay for a couple more days. He still looked weak and was bracing himself against the engine.

Trip walked up to him. "What did Nuggets do now? She didn't get out of her cage again, did she?"

"No. She caught the virus."

"What virus?"

"The one I brought back."

Trip smiled, thinking this was a joke. Archer didn't return and Trip's faded.

"But... She's a chicken. You're human. How'd she catch your virus?"

Archer looked down. "Phlox said I carried two strains back and he thought they were only harmful to humans. But he was wrong and it spread to several of his animals, mostly the fowl." Archer looked up at Trip. His eyes were watery from the virus, so Trip didn't realize he was actually crying when a several tears ran down his face. Archer looked up at Trip. "I'm so sorry. If I'd known... If we'd known, Trip--"

Trip spun, running out of Engineering. Archer turned, leaning against the hull. He suddenly noticed several crewmen watching him and walked out of Engineering.

#

The temple doors opened allowing sunlight to invade the darkness and sanctity of the interior. But none of the Vulcan's looked back at the Vulcan entering. The priest giving the sermon stopped and so did the newcomer. He bowed his head and with the others, recited the expected prayer. Nearly two hundred Vulcans were kneeling on pillows in the temple, their bodies at rigid attention.

The Vulcan started walking along the side of the room, looking over the sea of faces. He spotted the one he was looking for and made his way through the Vulcans.

T'Pol followed the sermon in her prayer book. She heard a movement and looked up. She saw the Vulcan walking toward her. The Vulcan leaned over her, whispering. The two stood and exited the room together.

Ambassador Saval was waiting outside with two attendants. He wore traditional robes and as usual, looked very upset with her.

"Did you not tell Captain Archer you were going to be participating in the cha'vahk?"

"Yes. He was aware of this."

"Then why is he sending you messages?" As if by magic, a PADD he'd had tucked in his sleeve appeared in Saval's hand. He thrust it at T'Pol.

She took it and read the message. For a split second her emotionless mask nearly slipped off. She handed the PADD back to Saval and started down the stairs.

"T'Pol."

She stopped and turned. "I must go. A member of the crew is dying, someone I am very close to."

"Captain Archer?"

T'Pol's eyes narrowed. "Why would you ask me that, Ambassador?"

"Rumors have spread you are having an intimate relationship with him."

"The rumors are unsupported and it is not he who is ill." T'Pol turned to hurry off.

"Who is it then? Who is crewman Nuggets? That doesn't even sound like a human name."

She turned back.

"She is a guest that has been with us for a little over nine months. Her kind can easily contract diseases from humans and the virus Captain Archer contracted on Gajux has infected her. Doctor Phlox is unable to cure her of it and she is dying. Excuse me."

T'Pol turned, hurrying down the stairs.

"Then she's not human?"

T'Pol didn't turn back or answer.

**#**

Trip heard the doors of Sickbay open and Phlox talk quietly with whoever entered. There had been others come and speak quietly with Phlox today. They all left just as quietly, as if loud noises would disturb someone. Trip looked around when a hand lay softly on his arm.

T'Pol watched his eyes and he saw concern and sorrow in hers, even though her face reflected none of it. She looked down at Nuggets.

"She is in pain," T'Pol said.

"Yeah. But we had to wait for you."

"She said this, did she?"

Trip smiled, looking down at Nuggets. "In her own way."

T'Pol tenderly lifted the bird into her arms. She pressed her cheek against the bird's neck, hugging her tight, but gentle.

"She has been a good pet."

Trip reached out, petting Nuggets' head when her eyes drifted open.

"Yeah."

"I will miss her too." T'Pol looked up at Trip.

He nodded.

"Now we must let her go, Trip," T'Pol said in a low, almost commanding, tone.

"Now we can. Now that you're here."

T'Pol gently placed Nuggets' back on the bed. She looked back at Phlox and nodded once. T'Pol moved close to Trip, both of them petting the bird. Phlox walked up with a hypospray in hand, reaching to inject her.

"This isn't going to hurt her, is it?" Trip asked.

"No. She will fall asleep and her heart will stop."

Phlox injected the bird and moved back. The chicken inhaled and exhaled her last breath. Trip's jaw tensed. He turned and left Sickbay. T'Pol dropped her hand from Nuggets.

"Dispose of her as he requested, Doctor."

"I will."

T'Pol turned and followed him.

**#**

Space with its thousands of diamonds enveloped _Enterprise_. Through a torpedo tube, a small metal box was jettisoned. _Enterprise_ turned and jumped to warp. The small box floated away, the top turning toward the light of a distant sun. Inscribed on the box was the epitaph: _Nuggets. Beloved pet and ship mascot._


End file.
